Conventions of Composition Rule 211 Practice

1. Weak: Junior then transfers to a better school.

Better: Junior hopes that transferring to a better school will improve his life, but he ends up no longer fitting in at either place.

Explanation: A topic sentence that has only a fact, as in the original sentence, won't let you write a very interesting paragraph.

2. Weak: Beloved arrives at 224 soaking wet.

Better: Arriving soaking wet, Beloved reminds Sethe simultaneously of birth and death.

Explanation: A fact alone can't work as a topic sentence.

3. Weak: Victor Frankenstein creates the creature out of parts found at charnel houses.

Better: Shelley shows the extent of Victor's obsession by having his create the creature out of parts he finds at charnel houses.

Explanation: The improved version gives the writer something to explain in the paragraph.