Conventions of Composition Rule 219 Practice

1. Wrong: When I want to buy apples to make pie, which I really like, for dessert, I go to one of the stores that's near my house not the ones that are farther away.

Better: I buy the apples for the pies I like at the store near my house.

Explanation: The original sentence travels in circles.

2. Wrong: Some teachers but not most of the students think that all holidays when they get called should be announced in advance.

Better: Some teachers and a minority of students wish all holidays were announced.

Explanation: Tighter wording makes the meaning clearer.

3. Wrong: I wanted to have a Greek salad with my dinner, which Taavi thought was strange since I was eating sushi.

Better: Despite Taavi's objection, I wanted a Greek salad with my sushi dinner.

Explanation: The original sentence gets a little muddled in its meaning.