Conventions of Composition Rule 222 Practice

1. Wrong: John came into civilization from a place where he'd heard about civilization but hadn't ever seen civilization.

Better: John came into civilization, a place about which he had heard but never seen.

Explanation: You don't want the word civilization (or any other word!) to appear three times in a single sentence.

2. Wrong: John Proctor admits his affair to the court, but Elizabeth tries to save him in court because she doesn't know what he has admitted even though she knows that he had the affair before he goes to court.

Better: Elizabeth, not knowing that John Proctor has already admitted to his affair, tries to save her husband in court.

Explanation: The improved sentence doesn't repeat any of the repeated elements of the original sentence.

3. Wrong: Around the same time when Taylor is going on her journey to find herself and to leave her home and everything she has known up until this point in her life is around the same time that she finds Turtle and then starts her journey.

Better: When Taylor begins her journey leaving everything behind, she finds Turtle.

Explanation: The original sentence says the same thing multiple times.

4. Wrong: Judy and Noel demonstrate generosity. They give presents because they're really giving people. In fact, they often give gifts to people; that's just who they are.

Better: Generous people, Judy and Noel often give gifts.

Explanation: The first series of sentences repeats the same basic idea without adding any new information.